March 7, 2015

A Look Back In Time


        I hate that word.

                 It is such a qualifier; a limiter.

     Why do we feel that we have to put a time on everything? From the year, month, day, hour, minute, second...where does it stop?  I have always stated that TIME, the word and the all-encompassing restraints those 4-letters put on our lives, is a product of the human mind.

     We are scientific beings, whether you want to blame evolution or God, or some other COSMIC entity for this, the fact remains that we see things in terms of symbols and identifiers. The only thing that is different among us is the language and communication we apply to those symbols.

  • On an extremely elementary level, we are told from day one that an apple is an apple. Then from that point forward, we always associate that symbol with the word/concept/idea of an "apple." But, how can we possibly know, in any realm of our current state of consciousness, that an apple was meant to be interpreted as such? 
     This is a hard concept to grasp, because we have been socialized from a very young age to see symbols in certain ways. [I use the world symbols here because "things" itself is even a questionable label | It can be synonymous with "concepts" if you will.] So these associations...these quantifiable identifiers we apply to the universe's  symbols and concepts become products of MAN. Time is no exception. We were faced with the unavoidable fate of growing old and dying. We just HAD to quantify and identify this seemingly unfortunate aspect of our lives.

     Once we are able to separate ourselves from the products of mankind [as such, we are all animals, are we not?] can we truly begin to break down this evil and damning concept of time.

     I look back 10+ years...what were my interests...what were my goals...shit, did I even HAVE any at that age? Should I have? If I did, would these have any factor in the person I am today, or would this have any effect on where I am at today?

My question is much simpler...does it even matter?

     Everything that happened in the so called PAST, actually happened in the PRESENT. There is no such thing as the past, there is no such thing as "tomorrow," there is only NOW. NOW. N.O.W.
     To put it simply, our perception and interpretation of the PRESENT, is much like our interpretation of the proverbial "apple." It has been placed upon us by MAN. I truly feel that man is meant for greater states of consciousness than the one physically IMPOSED upon us by either TV, Social Media, the Internet (ironically) and various other 21st Century Murderers...

    The idea I am reaching here is transcendence.  Again, another quantifier. Perhaps the old adage holds true that "words simply cannot describe this." Words, were in fact written down by man's hand and have only be perpetuated, renewed and revised as the evolution of technology and language necessitates it.

So, looking back 10 years, am I truly looking back 10 years? 

The answer is NO. I am looking at NOW. Those (and past tense is used strictly for grammatical correctness here) decisions made, the relations broken, the missed opportunities...they are all from the NOW. If we are a product of what we have done. Can we change if we are disappointed with the way our lives are progressing in the current state of consciousness? Absolutely, but my firm belief is that it can only be done in the N.O.W. because that is all we have, are and am. The NOW.

     I look at people I used to talk to and have since lost touch with and ask myself, "what happened?" Why did I decide to say no to that one question? Why did I say yes to the other. Why did I stay home instead of going get the idea. At least I hope you do...

By reaching a new level of consciousness, you realize that all of these "choices" have been made in the present.

Do I fear TIME?

No. I fear the implications of the word. The false sense of security it can award you and the degenerative qualities as well. It encases mankind. Tells us that we only have so much TIME to do things.


Certainly, at the cosmic level, there is an progression, an evolution of the mind, and evolution of consciousness; however, we INVENTED the word, the symbol and have only attributed negativity to it from that moment forward.

Am I upset about this?

No, because there is always an escape. There is a promised land in each of us that allows us to remove ourselves from break the chains.

Think of a moment in your life where you simply lost TIME. And, I mean LOST TIME. Not simply track of it, but you were unknowingly purged of the man-made idea of it.  It was only when you realized what "time" it was on a clock that you were brought back into this false, deceitful realm of consciousness.


Everything that occurred in that moment happened in the NOW. Not the past... TIME stopped. The Word stopped and the negative effect of such stopped. You aged in that moment...the man-made clock that rules our lives sitting on your bedside table; hanging on the wall, strapped around your wrist or in your pocket on your phone, kept on ticking, tick-tok, tick-tok...That cannot be argued, but the actual awareness was GONE.

This is how every moment should be lived. 

Yes, we live in a civilization where TIME is a factor and TIME is almost God-like ruler in a sense. We have responsibilities...There is a balance, but one day I do hope that all of mankind can transcend beyond the veil of deception and into a new consciousnesses consisting only of the N.O.W.

I leave you with a painting.


- J.P. Bartolomeo -

December 13, 2014

.....The Return

     I plan on continuing to write on an indefinite basis going forward.

     That being said, I've attempted this previously and things seem to get in the way...mainly laziness and distractions. I work a pretty hectic schedule, but it provides a decent living.

No, that's a lie.

      My work schedule is not that bad. I work your standard 8 hour day, Monday through Friday with weekends off. I get home by 6:30-7:00pm and I typically end up just sitting on the couch, making a mess of my house and doing nothing but watching Netflix or whatever bullshit happens to stimulate my dying brain cells on television.

     I've struggled with this for about 6 months now. I cannot seem to break out of this ridiculous, vicious cycle of wake up, work, come home, do nothing, sleep...repeat. There is really no excuse for my behavior. It's not that it's hurting anyone...other than myself. It's obviously not fulfilling whatsoever and I cannot shake it. I think my system thrives on routine, and I've fallen into a pretty sad one. I cannot say that I'm depressed, because when I'm in that habit, it doesn't seem so bad; however, it's when I step outside myself and really take a look at my day, week, month...hell, even the year, it's pretty apparent that something is not right.

I do not fault anyone but myself.

     Yes, I am married. Happily, I may add.  Without my wife, I don't know where I might be. She agrees with me when I voice my concerns over the routine(s) I've [we've] fallen into. I feel like there needs to be more. Something beyond this monotony and predictability.  I cannot put my finger on what exactly it is. I've explored many ethereal and new age practices to "find myself;" however, they all still end up the same way... I either become bored with them, myself, or become distracted with the 20th century murderers of TV and the Internet. Although, when I really look at it, I don't spend that much time on the actual "Internet." I may glance at my Facebook page once or twice a day, but I could probably count the amount of actual time "surfing the web" in minutes.

     So, that cannot be the "culprit" in my distant and disconnected mindset. Is it TV then? Nah. I mean, we went for months without basic cable...We signed up a few months ago and it was only then that it became an issue. There are many nights where I don't even watch it. I come home extremely tired and find myself slipping into dreamland before 9pm. Is that normal? For someone my age?

     Well, regardless, my head always seems to be in a million different places I want to read, I want to workout, I want to eat, I want to drink, I want to sleep, I want to play a video game, I want to watch TV, I want to do this and that and the other thing...

But one thing has always remaining constant:

My love and admiration for music.

     Not only do I love to listen, collect, discover...I also love to create. I have not written a complete song in about 3 years; however, ideas are always flowing and I get such a release when playing. I transcend all the aforementioned bullshit and mundane happenings of the day and travel into a world that is impossible to describe. The same is true when listening. Sure, I have opinions on what I consider "good" or satisfying, but I love to listen to new artists and really dig deep into what they are trying to convey through that medium. Music is both a science and an art, but I can also say it's much more than only those.

Something beyond space and time. 

     There are no limits on what can be presented. I think that's the appeal for me. There are literally no boundaries.

     When I listen to music, I completely isolate myself from the outside world. Now, that is not to say I neglect all responsibility. We do live in a society where our attention is needed and we cannot pretend that these things do not exist.


     We can escape from them for a little while. We can get lost in a world that is void of demands and judgment. And that, my friends, is a world worth living in.

     Therefore, I hereby decree that I will continue to write about music. Something I find enjoyment in and can give my internal life purpose outside of my love for my wife and the life we are creating for ourselves.

More to come from this twisted mind, and it's time to turn on, tune in and burn out...


June 30, 2014

The Dream is Futile

One thing is for certain...  The world does not care about you.

But you can care about the world.

Everything we do in the possible eight decades we are blessed with on this beautiful planet is completely meaningless.  So why care?  Why do millions of individuals spend their entire lives in constant apprehension and fear?  Why is anxiety and stress so common among the people of Earth?  It's simply because we are too focused about what the world things about us, individually.  We spend precious hours a day in front of mirrors attempting to create a pleasing look.  We fix our hair up, we dress in clothing that accentuates the parts of our body that we think are special.  Plastic surgery is no longer a taboo, but rather an accepted aspect of daily life.  We fill the void of meaninglessness with material, and regress to the most vulgar forms of gluttony, pride and vanity.  There are many dogmas, beliefs and theories among the populace; however, one thing is absolute... None of these things matter. 

When the heart stops, and the brain is deprived of oxygen and the carbon decomposes, this material will no longer be anything more than that...material.  Why?  Because the object of their importance, the thoughts, and emotions that gave them any shrivel of meaning is no longer in existence.  This is you.  The only person in the world that idolizes these possessions is you, and one day you will die and it will no longer matter.  You may spend your entire life saving for a car.  You've wanted this car since you were 10 years old.  You work hard, 60 - 70 hours a week, up the corporate ladder, kissed many a dirty ass and finally able to purchase this car at the age of 65. You are elated. You have finally accomplished your dream! Right? No. Because, once you are gone, this car has no meaning.  The only thing that gave it any merit, you, are no longer here and the car is reduced to metal, scrap...garbage.

The dream is futile.


I am not saying that one should not strive to accomplish things in life.  I am simply saying that those aspirations should be pure, lasting and more worthwhile than material.

Why so cynical?  Is life completely meaningless simply due to the fact that one day we will no longer exist?  Do we honestly, deep down, believe that if some cosmic super power does indeed exist - (in whatever form) - that is cares about what you "obtain" in the ~80 years we have?  Truthfully.  Ask yourself right now.  Look around your room.  Pick out the items you consider accomplishments; things you've worked hard for because they were the object of your dream.  Do they really matter?  Do you think the Earth gives one ounce of a damn about those items. 

It simply does not.

The Earth is fighting back.  The Universe is at war with our ambitions.  We are striving for the wrong things. 

Once you give up the concept of "freedom,"  only then will you truly be free.

What am I saying here?  I'm saying that our thinking is backwards.  We firmly believe that the world cares about us.  That it is on our side.  With all these dreams of the big house, nice belongings, our morning latte, our afternoon smoke, our evening feast, our night cap.  It doesn't.  We need to reverse the system.  The world does not care about anything you do; yet, this concept is so engraved in our minds, hearts and souls that we develop all this anxiety, fear and loneliness.

Once we start caring about the world, this fear and anxiety will dissipate.  I'm not speaking in a holistic, "save the trees" sense here.  I mean we should care about the bigger picture. Enlightenment. Finding the true meaning of existence.  It is not that car you will work so hard for.  It's something larger; something I do not know, something you do not know. However, IT should be the object of our aspirations, not the material.

What I'm asking is to take one day.  Fast. Eat light.  Wake up and skip the Dunkin' Donuts/Starbucks run.  Unplug from the grid; turn the cell phone off.  Focus your attention on the bigger picture, the cosmic uncertainty of life, and the absolute promise of death.  Look for IT.  Speak with other people, listen to them.  Don't just tolerate them, LISTEN.  Absorb all you can about this wonderful planet and the people herein. 

Granted, there is a certain degree we can do this.  We have to work, we have to drive, we have to eat, we have to pay bills, we have to do things that are in direct contrast to what the overall meaning of life is.


This is only because we MADE IT THIS WAY with our convoluted thinking.  Ever since man developed and sense of self-awareness and pride, we believed we had to impress the world.  Because of that, this whole fucked up system was created. This dream of work, money, sex, lies, deception, greed, lust, envy, pride, gluttony, filth, and sin is all because we believe the world cares about us.  Once you realize it does not, you will experience relief and freedom.

One day...just one day. SIMPLIFY.  Do only the absolute minimal amount of 21st century necessity in order to get through the day, and you will find that you have so much TIME.  Use this time to focus your attention to finding IT.  That cosmic, golden, ecstasy that is truly what life is about.

Care about the world.  Broaden your horizons and open your mind, and your dream will become worthwhile and the ultimate feeling of fulfillment.